Post by Electra Stevens on Jun 18, 2012 14:33:20 GMT -5
Past memories are the most important pages in the book of history of every person………
8 years ago…
The crowd was chanting for my opponent to finish me off. I could barely stand and blood from my forehead was dripping down into my eyes, stinging and obscuring my sight. The woman I faced, she stood to taunt the crowd a little, knowing that it wouldn’t take much to finish me off, allowing me to get what little momentum I had left, if only to humiliate me more. My body ached. The multiple chair shots to my back made me feel as though I were older than I really was. I forced myself to stay conscious. I was determined not to give up. I was stubborn enough to still believe that I could win this. I pushed myself up to my elbows and then my knees. My opponent, the one whose name I couldn’t remember…mainly because she had been that unimportant to me. She turned and smiled. She was also bleeding and her blonde hair was pink with it, but for some reason she had more stamina then me. She also had about 30lbs on me as well. She picked up the belt that we were both fighting for and raised it above her head, before dropping it and running at me. It had been all in slow motion and the next moment I remember was being taken out of the arena on a stretcher. When I had woken in hospital, with Ryan sitting beside me with a crossword I’d turned to him.
“I’m done Ryan.”
“I know.” He’d replied.
“I mean really done. I’m not going back. I’m retiring.”
He’d smirked at me. “Your only 21…”
“I know but I just don’t think I can do it anymore.”
“You’re going to let one title loss determine that?”
“Well…you said you wanted to get married…have kids…I can’t’ do that while I’m in there.”
“True. If that’s what you want….”
It had been what I wanted then. And only a few short months later, Ryan had retired too. We’d married in our expensive gathering with a lot of people I didn’t even really know. We’d started trying for kids right away and after a year, the doctor had told me about the damage. A combination of the abuse from my step-father and the shots I had taken as a wrestler. I had done the surgery to remove scar tissue and then started IVF, which never took. It was only after we’d given up and our marriage had started to fall apart that a drunken night had lead to the conception of our son.
The Present….
“Auntie Lexi, I miss you… a lot!” His voice on the other end of the line made my eyes tear up and a tear fell from my eye.
“I miss you too Baby Boy.”
“When you home again?”
“Soon. I promise.”
“Will Uncle Drake come too?” I looked up at Drake who was watching me. He had his arms crossed across his chest but the look on his face was compassion.
“Maybe sweetie. It all depends. Uncle Drake hasn’t been feeling well.” Drake raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, well make him feel better so he can play with me. Bye love you.” I heard some talking and then the phone must have been handed off to Chrissy.
“You have to come home more often Lex.” She said.
“I know. I want to be there when the baby comes but that might not be an option. It all depends on what happens with this Title shot….”
“I’m not upset with you; I know your doing what you have to so that you have enough money to support Matty.”
I gulped. I hadn’t told anybody about my decision to take custody of Matty again…when I was done with wrestling. He was young enough that it wouldn’t be a hard transition and Chrissy agreed with it. She would miss seeing Matty every day but she hated secrets since there had been so many in our family. It wouldn’t be an easy thing legally but Terry had it covered. Until this was over, I wasn’t telling anybody, it would get out and the last thing I needed was Ryan hearing about it.
“Yes, well that’s a long way away. Is everything okay up there?”
“Everything is fine. Baby is healthy and I’m still due the end of October. We’re going to make a trip up to the cottage at the end of July. I hope you can get away for a couple days and join us…”
“Like I said, I’ll try my best. I gotta go Chris. Love you and give Terry and Matty big hugs for me.”
“Of course. Love you Lex, be safe.”
I hung up my phone and Drake moved over to sit beside me on the couch. He put an arm around me and it opened up the waterworks. I hated to cry but right now…I missed my son far too much. He pulled me closer.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed to cry Lexi.” He said softly.
“It’s not me. It’s not me anymore. I just hate the way things are you know. I hate that I had to give him up the way I did and I hate being away from him.”
He didn’t say anything, just continued to let me soak the front of his shirt. Once I’d composed myself I pushed away from him and wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand, and it was as though I hadn’t just broken down. I had other things to think about right now. I stood and went toward ‘our’ shared closet, where my clothes had started to take over his. I smiled at it. Wasn’t there a rule that if you had more than half the closet you were technically living together? It kind of made me uncomfortable. Things were moving very quickly.
“Having trouble?” he asked behind me and I turned.
“No.” I pulled out a couple items and walked past him toward the bathroom.
In the bathroom I put on the spandex shorts and baby T and pulled my hair back. I contemplated makeup but decided that a bit of mascara was al I needed. My nose wasn’t swollen anymore, only slightly yellow where the bruising was fading.
I walked out, picked up my ipod and my purse and bent over the couch to kiss Drake on the cheek, he reached up and grabbed my shoulder and made sure to get a better kiss from me and almost pulling me over the back of the couch. I laughed.
“You know if you keep that up I won’t ever get to the gym.”
He shrugged.
~*~
The gym was empty when I got there and that always made me a little nervous. Every since that encounter with Hacker where I had suffered a broken rib I was always leery about this place when it was so quiet…and now with this new stalker. I didn’t think it was hacker. I don’t know why I didn’t but it just didn’t seem like his MO. Spray painting my stuff was immature and as crazy as I thought he was, he wasn’t immature.
I started with the treadmill. I put my Ipod in and started to run. I couldn’t help but smile at the events from last Saturday. Seeing Laura covered in shit, slipping and sliding in it and then to see Johnny do the same. Hilarious.
I wanted to make sure that Laura lost at Caged Aggression. Even if it meant that Lindsey grabbed the win. Either way, Laura was not walking out of the cage with the belt. It was cliché but if Lindsey and I joined forces we could take her out and then fight each other fairly.
Laura was a chicken shit. Every time she got close to getting her ass kicked legitimately, she’d resort to cheating to win because she just couldn’t take losing to me. She couldn’t admit that I was better than her. Had more experience than her. She’d have to admit it after this weekend. Especially when I left her broken and bleeding in the middle of the ring.
I was determined. I was stubborn and I was not going to repeat my last match 8 years ago. I would not let someone take me out so easily again, and I wasn’t going to roll over and let it happen like it did then. I was stronger and I was smarter…and I was going to get my belt back, and I was going to make sure that I rubbed it in Laura’s ugly face when I did. Then she would have to bow down to me…the true Queen around here. Once this was over I was going to be the same Lexi I’d always been, only this time, a little smarter, a little tougher and more careful.
When I was finished, I moved toward the punching bag and started to imagine Laura’s face. The Music on my Ipod changed to slipknot and it only made me punch harder. Now I imagined other faces I wanted to take out. Ryan…Justin…Daniel….Hacker…. I kept going until I felt a sting and knew that I hadn’t done a good enough job wrapping my hands and the tape had split, causing my knuckles to open up. The tape was slowly turning red and there were red streaks on the bag. I pull out the ear buds and put my ipod down next to the roll of tape.
I heard someone clap behind me. I stopped and turned. Justin of all people had entered the gym. He had a mocking smile on his face. I couldn’t help but admire the way his frame fit in a pair of jeans and a simple dress shirt. I tried to shake away the mental images of pulling his clothes off and jumping him. Old habits tended to die hard. Despite the contempt that flowed through my veins, he was one of the sexiest men I’d ever known.
I started to unwrap my hands and he continued to walk toward me.
“What are you doing here? Don’t you have an asshole conference to be at?”
“Touchy.”
“Well with what’s been going on lately I don’t need any more of your bullshit Jus. What do you want?”
“Let me help you with that. You split the tape.” He took my fist in his and started to unwrap it quicker than I was doing.
“Why are you being so nice to me? What are you looking for?”
“Nothing? Do I have to have a reason to visit an old friend?”
“Yes, in your case when the last words you said to me was that I was a slut, yeah…”
“Okay fine.” He finishes with my right hand and starts on the left. “I’m here because I see something I haven’t seen in a very long time Lexi and I want to warn you.”
“Warn me about what?”
“Two things actually.” He turns when he can still hear the music blaring from my abandoned Ipod. He stops un-wrapping my hand. “I see you’re breaking out the old music. Your bringing out the bitch aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. I hope not but if this continues I’ll have no choice to but to be completely ruthless.”
“What does your boyfriend think about that?”
“I didn’t give him many details about my old fed. It’s on a need to know basis. He knows I was a heel. That’s it.”
He smirked. “Or is the reason you haven’t told him, is because you’re scared that he’ll run away. That he’s going to not want to deal with that bullshit.”
“You liked the bullshit.”
“I liked the real you better; too bad you let the bitch decide our future. You almost left him…for me.”
“Hurry up and finish what you came to say Justin.” I didn’t want to admit that right before I’d married Ryan, I’d had a slip up. That for a few hours I had decided to run away with Justin.
“I see the way you act around him….Hunter….”
“So what? You have no say in the way I deal with my life now.”
“Well that’s where you’re wrong, I have more of a say then you know. However, the reason I’m saying this is because for some insane lack of critical thinking on my part I still love you. That being said I think your getting in over your head.”
“Go away.” I try to turn away from him, but he forcefully grabs my hand back to his chest, causing me to stumble a little onto his chest.
“It will be quite entertaining to see H4ck3r destroy Drake this weekend. He sure does have his mind set on destroying him. My suggestion is that you stay away and let him do it. What if what he has to reveal really does make you think twice about your lover boy?” He’s still got my wrist pulled against his chest. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to try and kiss me again.
“Oi!”
Justin and I both look around to see that Drake has entered the training room. “Just the man I was hoping to kill today.”
“I was just leaving.” Justin pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles before letting me go with a little bit of force, causing me to stumble. I didn’t fall though; he hadn’t pushed me hard enough.
Drake started to get in Justin’s face but I grabbed his arm. “Don’t.”
He looked back at me and I was shaking my head. Justin smirked and turned waving a hand over his head, not even bothering to look behind him again as he left.
“What was that about?”
“That was about 25% of the man I thought I loved a long time ago.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Meaning that he was civil Drake.” I let go of his arm and turn and start to pull the rest of the tape of my hand.
“Here let’ me help.” He comes over and tries to pull it off. “You got a few scrapes.”
“I’m fine.” I pull my hand away.
“Okay what’s up with you? I have to admit that I liked the new change at first but now your not you anymore….”
I sigh. Justin had been right. When I’d let the bitch out, it seemed she didn’t fit back in her box as neatly.
“I’m sorry. I’m a mess and it seems that I have no filter on who I take it out on.”
“I have no right to lecture you about that kind of thing considering my own actions but just don’t let it make you lose sight of who you are Lexi.” He brushes some lose strands of hair away from my face. After a few minutes of silence he smiled. “I came down cuz I figured we should probably start preparing. We both have big matches and I want to see you destroy both those undeserving bitches.”
“I want you to end this Hacker shit once and for all.” I say. He puts an arm around me and we walk toward the ring set up in the far side of the gym.
8 years ago…
The crowd was chanting for my opponent to finish me off. I could barely stand and blood from my forehead was dripping down into my eyes, stinging and obscuring my sight. The woman I faced, she stood to taunt the crowd a little, knowing that it wouldn’t take much to finish me off, allowing me to get what little momentum I had left, if only to humiliate me more. My body ached. The multiple chair shots to my back made me feel as though I were older than I really was. I forced myself to stay conscious. I was determined not to give up. I was stubborn enough to still believe that I could win this. I pushed myself up to my elbows and then my knees. My opponent, the one whose name I couldn’t remember…mainly because she had been that unimportant to me. She turned and smiled. She was also bleeding and her blonde hair was pink with it, but for some reason she had more stamina then me. She also had about 30lbs on me as well. She picked up the belt that we were both fighting for and raised it above her head, before dropping it and running at me. It had been all in slow motion and the next moment I remember was being taken out of the arena on a stretcher. When I had woken in hospital, with Ryan sitting beside me with a crossword I’d turned to him.
“I’m done Ryan.”
“I know.” He’d replied.
“I mean really done. I’m not going back. I’m retiring.”
He’d smirked at me. “Your only 21…”
“I know but I just don’t think I can do it anymore.”
“You’re going to let one title loss determine that?”
“Well…you said you wanted to get married…have kids…I can’t’ do that while I’m in there.”
“True. If that’s what you want….”
It had been what I wanted then. And only a few short months later, Ryan had retired too. We’d married in our expensive gathering with a lot of people I didn’t even really know. We’d started trying for kids right away and after a year, the doctor had told me about the damage. A combination of the abuse from my step-father and the shots I had taken as a wrestler. I had done the surgery to remove scar tissue and then started IVF, which never took. It was only after we’d given up and our marriage had started to fall apart that a drunken night had lead to the conception of our son.
The Present….
“Auntie Lexi, I miss you… a lot!” His voice on the other end of the line made my eyes tear up and a tear fell from my eye.
“I miss you too Baby Boy.”
“When you home again?”
“Soon. I promise.”
“Will Uncle Drake come too?” I looked up at Drake who was watching me. He had his arms crossed across his chest but the look on his face was compassion.
“Maybe sweetie. It all depends. Uncle Drake hasn’t been feeling well.” Drake raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, well make him feel better so he can play with me. Bye love you.” I heard some talking and then the phone must have been handed off to Chrissy.
“You have to come home more often Lex.” She said.
“I know. I want to be there when the baby comes but that might not be an option. It all depends on what happens with this Title shot….”
“I’m not upset with you; I know your doing what you have to so that you have enough money to support Matty.”
I gulped. I hadn’t told anybody about my decision to take custody of Matty again…when I was done with wrestling. He was young enough that it wouldn’t be a hard transition and Chrissy agreed with it. She would miss seeing Matty every day but she hated secrets since there had been so many in our family. It wouldn’t be an easy thing legally but Terry had it covered. Until this was over, I wasn’t telling anybody, it would get out and the last thing I needed was Ryan hearing about it.
“Yes, well that’s a long way away. Is everything okay up there?”
“Everything is fine. Baby is healthy and I’m still due the end of October. We’re going to make a trip up to the cottage at the end of July. I hope you can get away for a couple days and join us…”
“Like I said, I’ll try my best. I gotta go Chris. Love you and give Terry and Matty big hugs for me.”
“Of course. Love you Lex, be safe.”
I hung up my phone and Drake moved over to sit beside me on the couch. He put an arm around me and it opened up the waterworks. I hated to cry but right now…I missed my son far too much. He pulled me closer.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed to cry Lexi.” He said softly.
“It’s not me. It’s not me anymore. I just hate the way things are you know. I hate that I had to give him up the way I did and I hate being away from him.”
He didn’t say anything, just continued to let me soak the front of his shirt. Once I’d composed myself I pushed away from him and wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand, and it was as though I hadn’t just broken down. I had other things to think about right now. I stood and went toward ‘our’ shared closet, where my clothes had started to take over his. I smiled at it. Wasn’t there a rule that if you had more than half the closet you were technically living together? It kind of made me uncomfortable. Things were moving very quickly.
“Having trouble?” he asked behind me and I turned.
“No.” I pulled out a couple items and walked past him toward the bathroom.
In the bathroom I put on the spandex shorts and baby T and pulled my hair back. I contemplated makeup but decided that a bit of mascara was al I needed. My nose wasn’t swollen anymore, only slightly yellow where the bruising was fading.
I walked out, picked up my ipod and my purse and bent over the couch to kiss Drake on the cheek, he reached up and grabbed my shoulder and made sure to get a better kiss from me and almost pulling me over the back of the couch. I laughed.
“You know if you keep that up I won’t ever get to the gym.”
He shrugged.
~*~
The gym was empty when I got there and that always made me a little nervous. Every since that encounter with Hacker where I had suffered a broken rib I was always leery about this place when it was so quiet…and now with this new stalker. I didn’t think it was hacker. I don’t know why I didn’t but it just didn’t seem like his MO. Spray painting my stuff was immature and as crazy as I thought he was, he wasn’t immature.
I started with the treadmill. I put my Ipod in and started to run. I couldn’t help but smile at the events from last Saturday. Seeing Laura covered in shit, slipping and sliding in it and then to see Johnny do the same. Hilarious.
I wanted to make sure that Laura lost at Caged Aggression. Even if it meant that Lindsey grabbed the win. Either way, Laura was not walking out of the cage with the belt. It was cliché but if Lindsey and I joined forces we could take her out and then fight each other fairly.
Laura was a chicken shit. Every time she got close to getting her ass kicked legitimately, she’d resort to cheating to win because she just couldn’t take losing to me. She couldn’t admit that I was better than her. Had more experience than her. She’d have to admit it after this weekend. Especially when I left her broken and bleeding in the middle of the ring.
I was determined. I was stubborn and I was not going to repeat my last match 8 years ago. I would not let someone take me out so easily again, and I wasn’t going to roll over and let it happen like it did then. I was stronger and I was smarter…and I was going to get my belt back, and I was going to make sure that I rubbed it in Laura’s ugly face when I did. Then she would have to bow down to me…the true Queen around here. Once this was over I was going to be the same Lexi I’d always been, only this time, a little smarter, a little tougher and more careful.
When I was finished, I moved toward the punching bag and started to imagine Laura’s face. The Music on my Ipod changed to slipknot and it only made me punch harder. Now I imagined other faces I wanted to take out. Ryan…Justin…Daniel….Hacker…. I kept going until I felt a sting and knew that I hadn’t done a good enough job wrapping my hands and the tape had split, causing my knuckles to open up. The tape was slowly turning red and there were red streaks on the bag. I pull out the ear buds and put my ipod down next to the roll of tape.
I heard someone clap behind me. I stopped and turned. Justin of all people had entered the gym. He had a mocking smile on his face. I couldn’t help but admire the way his frame fit in a pair of jeans and a simple dress shirt. I tried to shake away the mental images of pulling his clothes off and jumping him. Old habits tended to die hard. Despite the contempt that flowed through my veins, he was one of the sexiest men I’d ever known.
I started to unwrap my hands and he continued to walk toward me.
“What are you doing here? Don’t you have an asshole conference to be at?”
“Touchy.”
“Well with what’s been going on lately I don’t need any more of your bullshit Jus. What do you want?”
“Let me help you with that. You split the tape.” He took my fist in his and started to unwrap it quicker than I was doing.
“Why are you being so nice to me? What are you looking for?”
“Nothing? Do I have to have a reason to visit an old friend?”
“Yes, in your case when the last words you said to me was that I was a slut, yeah…”
“Okay fine.” He finishes with my right hand and starts on the left. “I’m here because I see something I haven’t seen in a very long time Lexi and I want to warn you.”
“Warn me about what?”
“Two things actually.” He turns when he can still hear the music blaring from my abandoned Ipod. He stops un-wrapping my hand. “I see you’re breaking out the old music. Your bringing out the bitch aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. I hope not but if this continues I’ll have no choice to but to be completely ruthless.”
“What does your boyfriend think about that?”
“I didn’t give him many details about my old fed. It’s on a need to know basis. He knows I was a heel. That’s it.”
He smirked. “Or is the reason you haven’t told him, is because you’re scared that he’ll run away. That he’s going to not want to deal with that bullshit.”
“You liked the bullshit.”
“I liked the real you better; too bad you let the bitch decide our future. You almost left him…for me.”
“Hurry up and finish what you came to say Justin.” I didn’t want to admit that right before I’d married Ryan, I’d had a slip up. That for a few hours I had decided to run away with Justin.
“I see the way you act around him….Hunter….”
“So what? You have no say in the way I deal with my life now.”
“Well that’s where you’re wrong, I have more of a say then you know. However, the reason I’m saying this is because for some insane lack of critical thinking on my part I still love you. That being said I think your getting in over your head.”
“Go away.” I try to turn away from him, but he forcefully grabs my hand back to his chest, causing me to stumble a little onto his chest.
“It will be quite entertaining to see H4ck3r destroy Drake this weekend. He sure does have his mind set on destroying him. My suggestion is that you stay away and let him do it. What if what he has to reveal really does make you think twice about your lover boy?” He’s still got my wrist pulled against his chest. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to try and kiss me again.
“Oi!”
Justin and I both look around to see that Drake has entered the training room. “Just the man I was hoping to kill today.”
“I was just leaving.” Justin pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles before letting me go with a little bit of force, causing me to stumble. I didn’t fall though; he hadn’t pushed me hard enough.
Drake started to get in Justin’s face but I grabbed his arm. “Don’t.”
He looked back at me and I was shaking my head. Justin smirked and turned waving a hand over his head, not even bothering to look behind him again as he left.
“What was that about?”
“That was about 25% of the man I thought I loved a long time ago.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Meaning that he was civil Drake.” I let go of his arm and turn and start to pull the rest of the tape of my hand.
“Here let’ me help.” He comes over and tries to pull it off. “You got a few scrapes.”
“I’m fine.” I pull my hand away.
“Okay what’s up with you? I have to admit that I liked the new change at first but now your not you anymore….”
I sigh. Justin had been right. When I’d let the bitch out, it seemed she didn’t fit back in her box as neatly.
“I’m sorry. I’m a mess and it seems that I have no filter on who I take it out on.”
“I have no right to lecture you about that kind of thing considering my own actions but just don’t let it make you lose sight of who you are Lexi.” He brushes some lose strands of hair away from my face. After a few minutes of silence he smiled. “I came down cuz I figured we should probably start preparing. We both have big matches and I want to see you destroy both those undeserving bitches.”
“I want you to end this Hacker shit once and for all.” I say. He puts an arm around me and we walk toward the ring set up in the far side of the gym.
